I say that, and yet I find myself on my bed, taking pictures of myself pretending to sleep, instead of actually taking a nap so that I can wake myself up be a good college student. BLERG. One day, I'll get all of this right.
Last night was another night spent in that halfway-state between dreams and reality...it's been happening a lot lately, and it's really sucking the life out of me. I couldn't fall asleep until 2 because I couldn't get off of the computer until 12:30, and even when I slid into bed after that, I kept hallucinating about fencing until 2 (this happens after every practice...hm). I meant to wake up at 6, and I did, but I accidentally fell back asleep for another hour, and I had to rush the fuck out of my dorm. So yeah, I had to be a responsible human being while running on 4 hours of sleep.
I volunteered as a teaching assistant at a local middle school today. It wasn't terribly exciting -- I only stayed for one 1.5-hour period, and it was a reading class, so there wasn't much to do or to observe, really. It felt nostalgic being in a middle school classroom again, though. I can't believe that it's been 10 years since I was in 6th grade. How the FUCK am I getting old so quickly??
In other news, I should probably start writing my Amontillado analysis. I don't know why starting it is so hard! Starting on shit has always been a problem for me, but lately, I've noticed that my overall skill in writing has deteriorated slowly over the years, and I keep finding myself uninspired to write unless there is some major emotional turmoil going on inside of me. I honestly don't know why this is happening...but I think that I could attribute my lack of writing skill these days to the recent skyrocket in my verbal abilities. Talking has become so much easier for me. I don't think you understand how HUGE this is -- I used to be terrified of speaking, and could only do it properly if it was a last resort. But now, it comes so naturally. I can definitely thank my friends for this. I'm extremely grateful to them. They are the first people I have ever had in my life that have truly cared about what I think and what I say. Had I not met them, I probably would have never changed like this. I am a new person thanks to them.
But fuck me, I am an English major, and I need to be able to write properly!!