I found my old blog from my junior year of high school. The one where I talked a lot about my relationship with Nard and its effects on me, which went hand in hand with the depression that stemmed from Tita's death. It also had a lot of self-diagnosing mental disorders, swearing, and cursing other people. It's just incoherent and hideous to read through. I can appreciate one being honest about their feelings, but the way that everything is said in that blog is absolutely horrendous. And it's one thing to say stupid things when you're young, but in public? Typical fucking teenage shenanigans.

The horror and embarassment doesn't end there, though. The worst part is that I posted my full name on that damn blog.

Dear god, I am so ashamed of myself. What was I thinking? What a genius move. This is particularly worrisome because I just filled out a scholarship application and it would be bad news bears if they found it. Which is really easy to do. I mean, hell, if you type out my full name in a Google search, it's on the first page of the results. And the worst part about THIS is that the e-mail I used for that blog was hacked years ago and I haven't been able to access it at all, even after contacting Yahoo countless times. So I can't do jack about any of this.

This is ridiculous.

((And, well, I suppose the habit of expressing my mind publicly has carried on. But at least I'm (sort of) (EMPHASIS ON SORT OF) trying to be more discreet about things. And the extra personal stuff goes in a hand-written journal that will never see the light of day.))

But yo, really, this is troublesome. 어떻게해야합니까?