Before, I decided to put my feelings to the side. Then, I decided that I wouldn't, because I decided that feeling this way for you is something I can't not do. Now, I'm deciding to do put it to the side again, because on most days, you make things so unbearable for me. I'm tired of feeling tired and I hate that I keep putting myself down because you doesn't see me in the way that I see you.
But most of all, I hate myself for never doing anything. It makes putting myself down justifiable, and that's the last thing I need.
It's a vicious cycle. Why can't I just acknowledge that this is fruitless?? GOD I don't even know what this feeling is. This is dumb.
I wish I could blame you but I can't. I am the worst thing to ever happen to me.